Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it.

LEVELS:

• Remember Hanryn? Of course not. Last time he saw the light of day was -- yeesh -- April? Anyway, he's 80% through 24. I would have spent the extra five minutes to level him, but a group of Alliance jerks razed Camp Taurajo (...again...) and killed the guy I was supposed to talk to to complete the quest. Upon seeing Taurajo's NPCs scattered along the ground, I figured it would be an opportune time for pizza and logged off.
  

OTHER:

• Yea yea yea, another Kara post. Did Shade of Aran and Chess Event today flawlessly (except for that nail-biting two person victory on Shade), but Prince didn't want to be a good sport and roll over and die for us today. It was probably just poor luck, but between the infernals and wacky line of sight/out of range issues we couldn't get him past 65%. My theory is that he had my tier four token and just didn't want to give it up. Speaking of gear, Shade of Aran FINALLY dropped [Pauldrons of the Justice-Seeker]...and I lost the bid. Ah well, Ten won it and it apparently was his birthday tonight (I'm always the last to know about these things), so grats! Your shoulders have more armor than my chestpiece...all the more reason I need to be there for the Illhoof fight!
  

Our school had a saying: "When something smells, it's usually the Butz."

OTHER:

• We did the first half of Kara again tonight, but we kicked it up a notch by bringing some of our newer and less-experienced people there (myself included!). I was kinda nervous without having Ten or Hubb or Sines or Dip there, but we all did a hell of a job and only wiped twice...on trash mobs, no less! How embarrassing. It just goes to show that if we get a second group going for Kara, both groups should be in pretty good shape and we don't have to rely on the Crazy-Awesome-Ultra-Super-Saiyajin-Experienced Players or something like that to pull us out of trouble. Just like last time, nothing Idachi-worthy dropped. What a BUMMER. Ah well. Tier 4 helm tomorrow? Maybe? I'm about to have enough DKP to buy two helms.
  
• Apparently Limehead got in the guild the other day (yes, that Limehead) and left as quickly as he came in. Good riddance. NO doesn't need crap like him, whining all the time and asking for money and runs and such. Bleh.
  

In my language, the record just said, 'I want to sex your monkey'...which I have never done!

OTHER:

• Tonight was my first time doing the Netherspite thing, I can safely say that he is not my buddy. No sir. It's not those little laser beam things that piss me off, those just require me knowing which way they're coming from. It's not those dark circles of pain that piss me off, because usually I can bubble and run out of them. It's Netherspite's stupid netherbreath that makes me want to scream. Especially two netherbreaths in a row. I've only got like 6000 HP, if the first breath doesn't one-shot me, the second one most certainly will...and nothing sucks quite like dying in the first 3 minutes of the fight.
• In much lighter news, the [Helm of the Fallen Champion] dropped from Prince. I didn't win it (congrats to Ten), but I'm just happy to see it drop. Usually the damn Fallen Defender is the only one that drops, so seeing the Champion one (first time seeing it too) was a nice bonus. Other than that, nothing of interest dropped during this half of Kara. Bonerkill.
• When did we get on WoWJutsu? No matter, it's quite cool to see who's got what. Also, NO's the 50th best guild on the server, according to WoWJutsu. Not bad, not bad at all (read: In your FACE, Band of Pirates). I bet once we start doing Gruul's and Zul'Aman we'll be way high on the list.

You know, Smithers, I've never thought about suicide. But if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.

OTHER:

• We did another Ony run this evening for grins. [Nemesis Skullcap], [Helm of Wrath], and [Eskhandar's Collar] all dropped. No Judgement Crown :(. That Skullcap looks awesome though. One of these days I might just roll a warlock...if I can stomach them. I've been reading several of the Warcraft novels lately....I fucking hate the Burning Legion now more than ever.
  

Yep.

That was my squeezing arm. They took my squeezing arm! WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM?!

LEVELS:

• Ah, Timbermaw Hold rep. What a simpler time that was. Shendir hit 53 today amongst the various furbolg corpses out in Felwood today. Good times, good times. I can't wait to get out into the Outlands, Azeroth nowadays just seems so...quaint. Like a Model T in a museum. It was good for it's time, but now it's kinda lackluster.
  

OTHER:

• Shen did indeed leave Death Proof without a moment to spare this morning. I'm not really looking for a guild for Shendir, mostly because she's just an alt and Idachi means more to me. Still, if I could get into a fairly casual guild with Shen just to have a few people to listen to while I'm grinding, I would have no complaints.

Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

OTHER:

• Idachi got her first heroic key today...the [Key of Time]. I coulda sworn she was waaay far from getting revered with the Keepers of Time, but I guess not.

BLOG-RELATED:

• Yesterday's post was apparently the 100th post! Wow. Had I known about that I would have thrown something together. Instead, I present you with a list of all the previous titles and what show/game/movie/etc they come from. It'll be a laugh-o-rama!

Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?!

LEVELS:

• Shendir got halfway to 53 and then was pulled away to lend her services to aid Ogrimmar from the Alliance menace. Well, she WOULD have lent her services, but by the time I got there they had all run away. Lots of skeletons and some infernal corpses, though, so it must have been one hell of a party.

OTHER:

• While grinding, Shen got a guild invite from Death Proof. I've seen some of them around before, so I figured I'd join. The next time I'm on and no one else in the guild's on, I'm probaby going to leave. You see, ever since the Horde got paladins, they assume no one's every rolled a pally before. If this was a PvP server, I could totally understand how strange and foreign these paladins might seem, but when I get some little 62 BElfadin trying to tell me that:
  
  
1. Holy paladins can't heal


2. Ret paladins have awesome DPS


3. Prot paladins are the best tanks in the game


I have to question his sanity. Of course, this was also the same genuis who refused to believe me when I said Death Knights will use runes instead of mana and no guild will ever want him if he stays Rettarded-speced.

• Sweet sassy molassy, the news pouring out of BlizzCon is NUTS. Death Knights, Northrend, level 80 cap, heroic classes, new hairstyles, destroyable buildings, seige weapons, new professions, etc. But what REALLY got me squealing like a schoolgirl was the promise of NEW DANCES.
  
  Blizzard, I know you're not going to read this, but in the name of all that is good in this world, could you change the Human female dance? Please?
  
  

Let us celebrate this agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

LEVELS:

• At long freaking last, Nol is 40! He's gotten his robobird (the blue one) and a couple of new portals...he could use way better gear, though; not that there's anything wrong with wearing level 23 pants or anything.

OTHER:

• Idachi went to Kara again on Wednesday and got some [Gloves of Centering] from Maiden. Yea, more shammy gear. I shouldn't really complain though, my intellect and bonus healing has gone through the roof, and the mail gear is only temporary.
• Pfft, I guess they're letting in any old schmo into the guild these days.
• Firefox is back to non-transparent mode, IE is back to transparent mode. You can't please everyone.

I'm sure that in 1985, plutonium is sold in every corner drug store, but here in 1955 it's a little hard to come by.

SUPER SPECIAL MOLTEN CORE VERSION!


Molten Core? BOO, AZEROTH INSTANCES ARE FOR NUBCAKES.

Not.

We ran MC yesterday for shits and giggles and it was mighty awesome. We got all the way to Golemagg and decided to call it a night (it was 10:00, we were sleepy). We had a single wipe when one of our rogues got the Living Bomb and blew a good portion of the raid up, but other than that it went crazy smooth.

Oh yea, and since it was our first ever guild run of MC, we got double DKP!

We may/may not be doing Ragnaros in the next few days

PEEKTURES AND PHAT LOOT:

Lucifron:

• [Cenarion Boots]
• [Lawbringer Bracers] (Tier one Pally gear...if it was judgement, I woulda bid my ass off)

Magmadar

• [Legplates of Might]
• [Arcanist Leggings]

Gehennas

• [Nightslayer Gloves]
• [Sabatons of Might]

Garr

• [Lawbringer Belt]
• [Felheart Horns]
• [Drillborer Disk]

Baron Geddon

• [Cenarion Spaulders]
• [Arcanist Mantle]

Shazzrah

• [Giantstalker's Gloves]
• [Nightslayer Boots]

Golemagg the Incinerator

• [Felheart Robes]
• [Cenarion Vestments]

Scare in his new Cenarion stuff. I wish Shendir coulda been there, she needs that stuff bad!


In other news, Nol hit 39 this afternoon, which means ONE MORE LEVEL TIL IT'S ROBOBIRD TIME!

Well, all my life I felt I was black! I've listened to hip-hop, I watch UPN and I love playing basketball!

LEVELS:

• Shendir hit 52 this evening. I wish WoW would stop crashing everytime I go into a battleground, I really want to take her to Alterac Valley.

OTHER:

• Speaking of Kara, Idachi went again on Wednesday. We did Shade of Aran - Prince again, and Adiont FINALLY got his [Sunfury bow of the Phoenix], which was great news for him. Some nice shaman legs dropped from the chess event so I put a bid on 'em and won. I'm really fortunate to be getting all this incredible +int and healing gear, but I just wish it was plate for soloing/farming purposes. Ah well. Due to all my crazy spendings, I'm down to 7 DKP so it's going to be a while until I get some more fancy Kara loot. Doesn't bother me though, I go just for the sake of going.
• As SOON as Shen gained a level today, I got a tell asking to heal a BRD group. Now, the group wasn't horrible or anything, but my low level, leather gear, huge aggro radius, and problems healing as a druid (well, not problems...but when everyone's losing health fast, HoT spells scare the bajeebers out of me), we did wipe a few times and called it quits after everyone got their MC attunement. Shendir's now 30% through 53, and not a single leather piece dropped all while we were there...erg!

Psst! Your line is 'I'm going to free the Genie.' Anytime.

SUPER KARAZHAN VERSION, PART TWO!

Truth be told, I don't think I like the first half nearly as much as I like the second half. Maybe it's because we actually had a wipe this time. Maybe it's because my hard-earned DKP took a bit of a hit because I won a few things.

Attumen and his stupid horse weren't too hard, and Moroes wasn't that hard either. Moroes dropped [Belt of Gale Force], which Ten HEAVILY suggested I roll on...he was right, the +int and the healing equip bonus is just beautiful for a belt, even if it is mail (damn shammy gear). I died once on Maiden of Virtue, only because I lagged out when I got hit with the curse (blargh). The Maiden fight was pretty different though...it's the first time I have ever used Blessing of Sacrifice (which was part of the reason I died, but not the main cause). I got [Bands of Justice] from the stupid skanky Maiden, so I can't be all mad.

The opera thing was certainly...interesting. According to what I've read on WoWWiki, there's like 4 or 5 different scenes that could go on. We got the Little Red Riding Hood scene (is that a bad thing?), which involved one of our characters turrning into a little gnome in a red cape and running from a huge-ass

level ?? Worgen capable of two-shotting you. We wiped here once because we weren't really ready (hadn't gotten into position yet and gotten aggro and already we were getting Red Riding Hooded). The second time was a hoot: everyone's constantly moving, people are turning into gnomes....oh, and the wolf says "Better to own you with, my dear!". Great.

Did I mention before the opera there's a debuff called "Bad Poetry" that makes you fall asleep? That was honestly my favorite part of the night. Lousy beatniks. Anyway, after the opera fight we figured we'd do the Curator, just for giggles. We wiped on the curator once, only because our main tank disconnected in the very middle of the fight. According to a few guys in Kara general chat, we weren't alone; it seems a large chunk of the realm got booted and couldn't seem to log on for abot 15 minutes. Hubcapp got back on and we downed him immediately and got another tier 4 token drop. Overall, we did 5 bosses in 3 and a half hours, which isn't something to sneeze at. At all.

Phat loots:

Attumen the Huntsman

• [Gloves of Dextrous Manipulation]
  
• [Steelhawk Crossbow]

Moroes

• [Emerald Ripper]


• [Belt of Gale Force]

Maiden of Virtue

• [Bracers of Justice]


• [Gloves of Quickening]

The Big Bad Wolf

• [Ribbon of Sacrifice]


• [Wolfslayer Sniper Rifle]

The Curator

• [Gloves of the Fallen Defender]


• [Dragon-Quake Shouldergaurds]

I can't be friends with Eric. He's too... twitchy.

OTHER:

• Idachi got a bit of a gear makeover today. She replaced her [Seal of Rivendare] (level 58! WOO) with an [Alexandrite Ring of the Prophet] and got a [Crystal Pulse Shield] which is a pretty nice upgrade to her old [Saga of Terokk]. I haven't used a shield since Idachi was level 10, so it's pretty odd to see her with one again. Tentonz (GM of Nameless Order) has kinda taken me under his wing and heavily suggested I get the shield.
• We did a 7-man run of UBRS today to help Grattlemire and Vondervoman get their Onyxia attunements. That was pretty fun, even though I don't really like UBRS much.
• Idachi is also 17% away from being revered with the Cenarion Expedition and getting her Coilfang key. Tomorrow maybe I can get a Steam Vaults run going or something.

I tell my kids not to kiss other kids at school, "It might be an android... Suck your brains out."

SUPER SPECIAL KARAZHAN VERSION!

So, Idachi signed up for Kara last night. I got all ready and repaired and got my waters and symbols and flew on over to Duskwood. Stuff was going pretty good until I got into the Vent channel and overheard the guild officers discussing my gear. Now, I know my gear is a little...lacking. While everyone else has their crazy multi-gem epics, I've got...greens. And a blue mace and offhand. Woo. Anyway, they came to a decision that I should probably sit this one out, get geared up, and in about 3 weeks I should be able to do Kara again. I was a little bummed about this decision, but I can totally understand. I don't want my bullshit greens to be the cause of a wipe.

Anyway, I frittered around in Duskwood and started looking for a group for Shadow Labrynth while they tried to get two more people. Thirty minutes go by, and they still don't have a final person and are getting antsy, so I got an invite and got to go WOO!


Karazhan is FUCKING NUTS. I later learned that tonight's focus was the last half of Kara (Shade of Aran - Prince Malchezzar). I gotta say, the Shade of Aran fight is probably right up there among my favorite boss fights. All the techniques he does and how to avoid them...it was tons of fun. Oh, and the chess event! That was pretty cool, even if I had no damn idea on what was happening.


Anyway, we get to the Prince, and Tentonz gives me the lowdown on how this is going to work. No one on vent sounded very confidant; the guild hasn't downed Prince before.

I can totally understand why, it's a very LONG fight. Longer than Onyxia. I had to use three mana potions and my Divine Illumination to keep my mana as long as I could. And the positioning...guh. If all the casters don't stand in the EXACT SPOT and the tank doesn't tank in the EXACT SPOT it's a gauranteed wipe....but we didn't wipe and we downed him! WOO!



Phat Loots:

Trash Mobs

• [Grips of Deftness]

Shade of Aran

• [Shermanar Great-Ring]
  
• [Steelspine Facegaurd]

Chess Event

• [Triptych Shield of the Ancients]
  
• [Mithril Chain of Heroism]

Prince Malchezzar

• [Malchazeen]
  
• [Helm of the Fallen Champion]


• [Sunfury bow of the Phoenix]

Look, let me explain something. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude.

OTHER:

• Idachi is finally Kara attuned! Oh, and Black Morass is kinda stressful as a healer and I don't wanna go back for a while.
• Nameless Order held another Ony run this evening. We had just as much success as we did last time, unfortunately no Paladin gear dropped. We did, however, get TWO [Helm of Wrath] drops, which is kinda odd because I thought she only dropped one piece of T2 gear at a time.

I bash you in the head with my rifle, and you die! Good teamwork, you fucking noob!

OTHER:

• I owe an incredible amount of...something.... to the awesome Kazon and Immortal of Attrition who really went out of their way to help me get my final Kara key fragment and the fucking awesome [Mask of Penance]. Also, I feel SUPER BAD about saying all those bad things about Attrition being full of blowhards. Actually, the guild might just be full of blowhards, but those guys were super cool.
• Idachi is also 25% from being Revered and getting her Cenarion Expedition Heroic Key! WOO.
• Went to the WSVG today to partake in nerdly goodness, and it looks like MoB TurtleBeach has actually advanced to the finals! I have serious doubts that they will actually defeat Team Pandemic, but the very fact that they got this far deserves some respect. It must be their crazy-ass coach and his motivational screamings.

I'm a Mog. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend.

LEVELS:

• What started out as a minor addon check for Shendir eventually turned into a major grind/quest fest in Un'Goro resulting in Shen dinging to 51. This is actually a big accomplishment because now I have TWO characters who can go to Alterac Valley! WOO!
  It's just a pity that the Horde lose all the time.

OTHER:

• Shen's gonna have to book a trip to Sunken Temple soon because I just got a dr00d quest there with [Moonshadow Stave] as the reward. I think I speak for everyone when I say that staff is the shiz and right up Shen's ally...if only there was some +int, I'd be set for life.
• In slightly off-topic news, I'd like to give a shout out to Gweryc the Melee Hunter and wish him "gratz!" for hitting 70. I don't know if I'd be ballsy enough to make a hunter that never even touches a ranged weapon, but it's great to see that people can go out there and do what they want to do and not let morons tell them how to act and what to do.
  He's the Remy of World of Warcraft.
• Idachi got into a Steamvaults group that was just littered with failure. Which reminds me:
  
  
  BREAKING NEWS!
  Keeping mobs off your healer will actually increase your own chance of survival.
  News at 11.
  
  Long story short, the group disbanded after 7 wipes and she didn't get the final key fragment. Since no one else was looking for a Steam vaults group I decided to just call it a night. It's a real shame, especially because if I had been with a good group I could have gotten the final key out of the way, run through Black Morass, and been attuned just in time for the guild's Kara run (and they were in dire need of a healer too!)

I mean, I killed fifteen of those buggers. Now, at home they'd hang me, here they'll give me a fucking medal, sir.

LEVELS:

• Nol hit 38 today in Dustwallow Marsh trying to get to that damn Tabetha. Who the hell decides to live out there with all the spiders and raptors and oozes and crocodiles wandering about? Also, the inside of her little shack houses a wide variety of tubes and flasks and weirdo liquids and such.
  
  Can you say "meth lab"?

OTHER:

• Idachi got her third Kara key fragment yesterday in The Arcatraz, which is not nearly as bad as Shadow Lab, but still. All that's left is the Steamvaults key. I've heard it's very easy to get as long as you have a druid and rogue to sap/hibernate anything that happens to aggro.

Yes, Dexter, I can read your thoughts - and I am smarter than you.

LEVELS:

• Pyn hit 45 today doing that stupid pirate's gold quest in Tanaris. I had no idea that thing was repeatable. It makes me wonder if I should get Idachi down there farming map fragments and beating up level 45 pirates to get greens.
  

OTHER:

• Idachi got her first key fragment for her Kara attunement and GOD I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SHADOWLABS ANYMORE PLZ. No more. Not for a while. I don't even care about the damn [Breastplate of Many Graces], it's not worth the hassle of finding a competent group. And don't get me started on that fucking ogre boss.
  According to all the stuff I've read about the Kara attunement process, this is by far the hardest key to get, so I'm just so thankful I got it out of the way. After this all I need is a group of like-minded people (fuck the bosses, we're only in there for the key) and a few hours and my ass should be Kara attuned.

Just, no more fucking Shadow Labyrinth.

Calm down, Alpha. It's Rita, and she's attacking the planet.

OTHER:

• Idachi got [The Essence Focuser] yesterday in a random chest in Shadow Labs. Speaking of which, why do people abbreviate it as "Shadow Labs"? It's called The Shadow Labrynth, not The Shadow Laboratories. Where did that s come from?!
• This evening about 15 Nameless Order guildies (and meee!) went to Onyxia and ACTUALLY killed her! It was crazy awesome. To prove there is a god (and he just loves to fuck with me) the [Judgement Crown] actually dropped...and I was 2 DKP short from buying it. And then they disenchanted it. They better enjoy that Nexus Crystal! The Ony backpack dropped as well, but I lost the roll by like 40 points, so I don't really care.
• After our 7-minute bout with Onyxia (and we had four healers--all Paladins--because this guild doesn't believe in pally DPS. Suck it, Atherial. Just remember: you can't spell 'retarded' without 'ret') we attempted to down the world dragon in Darkshore...Emriss? Hell I don't remember his name. We tried 4 times and the lowest we got him to was 21%. I can help but feel that the guild leader might have been a little frustrated with me. Usually being glued to the main tank's health bar is a GOOD thing, but I got a little carried away and neglected my own health. Oh well, first raid jitters. I got an extra 29 DKP from all this, bumping my total score to an awesome 34 DKP...which isn't that bad considering I've only done two complete instances with them.

PEEKTURES!